My Boyfriend is a Host
by MsMacBeth10
Summary: Am I supposed to call him Walt? Or Anubis? Or Wanubis? Or Analt? My love life is more complicated than you think...
1. Penguins Crash My Birthday

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Hullo. Sadie here. Well, obviously it's me. And my love life is a mess [Stop sniggering, Carter. Just because _you _don't have a boyfriend with a—oh, I don't know—a—a—_split personality_ doesn't give you the right to laugh at me. You're not laughing? Please. I know you better than that! Okay, fine, you can't have a boyfriend because you're a boy. _Duh_. Thanks for stating the obvious. Why don't you shut up and go have another make-out session with Zia?].

That wasn't the most pleasant way to start a recording, I know. But I just had to say it. You'd think that, now that Aphosis is gone, and the world isn't going to end any time soon, everyone is partying and happy. Unfortunately, that isn't the case for me. I'm completely torn between to amazing boys, and now that they're sharing the same body, it's even _worse_. I mean, am I in love with Walt? Or Anubis? Or both? Agh [No, Carter, I'm not turning into Khufu. Did I scare you there?], thinking about it makes my head ache!

And why am I telling you about my love life, you might ask? I don't know, actually. I think it's easier to tell someone something instead of keeping it in to myself. If I do, I might explode (Carter just supplied "explode like an overfilled balloon". I'm still shuddering at the image of me bursting). Anyway, that's why I'm making a tape, even if the person listening to my _private _life is a complete stranger. At this point, I don't even care if you hear about it.

Let's fast forward (no pun intended) to _that_ particular day, shall we?

By _that _day, I'm referring to my fourteenth birthday. One year ago, on this very day, Anubis had given me a kiss as a present. Sure, it wasn't a physical present, yet I never stopped thinking about it. It had been my first kiss, after all. I'm feeling nostalgic all of a sudden. Not good. I'm still young, for gods' sake!

So, here I was, standing rather awkwardly next to Walt while Felix spun excitedly around, squealing "Penguins!"

Oops, I forgot to explain where we are. Silly me! [I suppose you're useful for _something_, Carter. Now, stop grumbling! I don't need your annoying sound effects! Uh, I think I just made it worse...] I was technically on a date with Walt at Sea World, in Florida.

I'm saying _technically, _because we were supposed to come alone, but Felix desperately begged Walt to let him come along so he could see the penguins. Walt, being the wonderful and caring person he is, couldn't refuse little Felix's request, and eventually I agreed that he could come with us.

Oh, how did Walt get those tickets? _I_ don't even want to know. Of course, being magicians, it was exceptionally easy to get to Florida without the pain of driving or riding in an airplane. I've had enough Fancy Tunas for life.

"Look at all those penguins!" Felix cried in delight, dancing right to the penguin exhibit without asking us for permission. Gods of Egypt, have mercy on my soul! If the poor boy got into trouble...

Walt and I lingered nearby, far away enough so that Felix wasn't within earshot, but still close enough so we could keep an eye on him. Did that make much sense? Hopefully.

"I can't believe one year ago things were still different," Walt murmured, echoing my thoughts.

A year ago, Walt was close to death, Anubis wasn't in Walt's body, and any day the world could abruptly give up on us and end. Obviously it was different now. "Don't talk about that now," I insisted.

"Ah, excuse me, miss? Is that boy—?" A staff member interrupted our discussion, gesturing to where a penguin was giving Felix a piggyback ride.

Wait, _WHAT_?

A _penguin _was giving _Felix _a PIGGYBACK RIDE? I would've fainted from shock, but because he was with us, Felix was partially my responsibility, too. I pulled myself together and frowned in concentration.

How'd he get in there? Magic? Hypnotic penguin speech? Help from an evil alien from Mars? The possibilities were endless.

Felix, on the other hand, didn't look scared at all. In fact, he was screaming with joy. Evidently, the Sea World staff had mistaken his screams for cries of terror.

"You'd better leave him alone," I advised the terrified staff member, "He can be pretty angry if you try to take him away from the penguins. And by angry, I mean _really _angry." I made the scariest face I could muster, which promptly caused the staff member to run away, yelling "MOMMY!" at the top of her lungs.

"Sadie, come on! We have to go help him!" Walt (or was it Anubis?) urged.

"Can't you see he's fine?" I protested, but Walt ignored me and grabbed my hand. Fortunately, the glass surrounding the penguins—and Felix—wasn't very tall, and Walt effortlessly jumped over it with me in his arms.

I really doubt that Felix was a high jump champion at school.

Walt carefully set me down on my feet, and sprinted on to help Felix climb down from the penguin's back. In the meantime, one penguin decided to take an interest in _me_, and began advancing toward me.

Uh oh.

Being sexually harassed by a penguin wasn't exactly my cup of tea, and so I took a step back.

Another step.

And ano—

My combat boots slipped on the ice, and I found myself falling backward. I expected to crash into solid ice, but instead there was a loud _Splash_!

I was sinking!

I gasped at how cold the water was, and immediately I swallowed a mouthful of penguin-polluted arctic water. It wasn't the best experience of my life, I'll tell you that much. I wanted to scream for Walt, but I was afraid to swallow any more of the ice-cold water.

Not only was I in shock—I couldn't swim well, and my wet clothes dragged me on toward the bottom of the pool.

Drowning on my birthday, huh? How ironic.

Strangely, the last thought that popped into my mind was _Anubis, help me! _

It wasn't _Walt, save me__._

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**Disclaimer: the characters belong to Rick Riordan, while the gods belong to...themselves. Or Egypt. Or...oh, never mind.**

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	2. Kiss of Death

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"Sadie!" The voice calling my name was muffled.

Oh...right. I was drowning. _It must be the gods of Egypt coming to take me away_. "Sadie, wake up!" The voice continued, sounding more clearer now. I opened my eyes, and was instantly awarded with Anubis's chocolate brown ones. _Anubis_?

"A-Anubis?" I asked weakly, staring at him in amazement. "Aren't you supposed to be with Walt?"

He offered me a small smile. "You're very close to death, Sadie. That's how I was able to...spare a few moments with you."

"But what about Walt?" I protested, "If he's not hosting you, he could die!"

Anubis gave me a dark look. "Walt is fine," he promised, "You'll be able to see him soon."

I relaxed. As long as Walt was fine...

A lump formed in my throat as I suddenly remembered my last birthday. Anubis had kissed me then.

"Anubis..." I trailed off, finding myself at a loss for words. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm usually not so tongue-tied. Not even around Walt. But being around Anubis puzzled me, and for some strange reason that I cannot fathom, I was even more embarrassed than usual.

"We don't have much time, Sadie," Anubis said, interrupting my thinking. "Although this is neither time nor place for something like this, I probably won't be able to see you alone like this again...but, happy birthday, Sadie."

With that, he leaned forward and kissed me.

_Just like last time_, I thought irrationally.

But, unlike last time, I reached my arms forward and clung on to him, and I kissed him back. _Don't leave me, Anubis. Please._

And, just like last time, our time together was too short.

I opened my eyes with a jolt to find Walt's lips pressed against mine.

"Mmph!" I protested, struggling.

"Sadie! Thank the gods!" Walt exclaimed in relief, letting go of me. "You...I thought..." he stared at me guiltily, as if he was deciding what to say to me. "I'm sorry I didn't get to you in time," he finished.

_Anubis did_, I wanted to say, but I had to bite my lip to stop myself from speaking.

"Sadie!" Felix leapt at me and hugged me tightly. "Are you okay?" He didn't sound sorry at all for causing me so much trouble. Then again, I did get a chance to see Anubis, so I couldn't really remain mad at Felix. I owed him one.

"I...should be fine," I replied, ruffling Felix's hair as I sat up. My clothes were drenched in freezing water.

I did something very unladylike:

I sneezed.

"We should go back," Walt said, studying me with concern.

I didn't know why, but I was suddenly very irritated at Walt. All he ever did was worry about me, and I found it very annoying. _All that water must have caused some malfunction in my brain_, I decided. There's no way I can be mad at Walt. Is there?

People _do _change, I suppose...

"Felix?" I asked, turning to him. _The boy needs a reward_. "Next time, I'll take you to the _real _Antarctica. You'll be able to spend as much time as you'd like with the penguins."

"You will?" Felix asked, his eyes instantly brightened.

"You will?" Walt echoed with surprise.

Great. Just what was I thinking, promising the boy something so ridiculous? _He's the reason you got to see Anubis again_, a small voice in my head reminded me smugly.

"Of course I will!" I declared. "In fact, let's go right now!"

"Woohoo!" Felix clapped, running in a circle around me.

Walt gave me an unhappy look, clearly not liking the idea of me taking Felix to the world of the penguins. Especially when one had taken an interest in me earlier...speaking of that penguin...

I couldn't tell which penguin it was, but I glared at them all the same. "Bad penguin!" I growled. "Let's see how you like _this_!" I pulled out my wand and pointed it at the ice. I chanted my favorite spell: "_Ha-di_!"_  
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_Boom_!

The ice exploded.

I felt very satisfied until I saw the look of fury on Walt's face. "What did you _do_, Sadie? What about the mortals? Did you even give _that _a thought?" he demanded, snatching both Felix's and my hands. "Now look what you've done!"

I froze, stunned. Walt had never sounded so furious before.

Before I could respond, Walt opened a portal, and we were whisked out of the exhibit.

"Sadie!"

Gods, how many times have people called my name today?

"Carter!" I mocked him as he hurried toward us with Zia in tow.

"You're drenched," Zia noted. "Did something happen?"

I shrugged. "Geez, thanks for noticing," I muttered. "Obviously something happened. It's not like I swim in my clothes for _enjoyment_. Why don't you try having a swim with penguins one day? It's very fun. What is _with _me and cold water? You dumped water on me that time, too! Well, it _was _your _shabti_, but it still counts!"

I haven't been _this _mad in years. All this fussing over me was too much.

Carter studied me. "Sadie..."

"Leave me alone!" I snapped, pushing past Jaz (she too had come to see what the commotion was) as I paced the room.

Walt held out a hand to me, but I ignored him and stalked back to my room. I could hear Jaz reassuring the boys, saying something about me having mood swings ("It's typical for us teenage girls to have mood swings," she said, "It's part of our character. Don't worry, she'll be back to her old self before you know it!" I'm pretty sure Carter grumbled something about not wanting me to go back to my old self, too. So much for being my brother!).

Not bothering to change my clothes, I collapsed onto my bed and stared at my painting of Anubis. "Oh, Anubis, if only you were here right now," I whispered, absently brushing away a tear from my eyes. "I miss you..."

Seeing him briefly—even if it _had _just been for a few moments—had triggered my feelings for him to resurface, no matter how much I tried to suppress them.

I thought I was happy with Walt. I had my brother, my friends, and everyone I loved with me. So why was I not satisfied? Why did I have to want something that I couldn't have?

"It's all your fault," I wailed, hoping with all my heart that the gods were listening, "you and your bloody rules! Why should it matter if gods fall in love with mortals? It's bloody unfair!"

I covered my face with my arms, and it wasn't long before I cried myself to sleep.

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**Disclaimer: the characters belong to Rick Riordan, while the gods belong to...themselves. Or Egypt. Or...oh, never mind.**

**I have a bad habit of starting new stories, and every time I start one, I get reviews asking me to update. Then I start focusing on the new story while leaving my other ones on hold. It's like a contagious disease.. :'O 14 reviews for the first chapter! you guys are awesome!**

**[Sadie isn't very in character in this chapter. eek.] And yes, this story will all be in Sadie's point of view (as the title and summary suggested already). Note*: Walt was giving Sadie CPR in this chapter. It wasn't really him kissing her. xD **

**Hmm, the review button has been updated! It looks amazing. Don't you just want to click it? ;P **


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